I'd like to share a personal experience that had a significant impact on my personal and professional development. Let me start by mentioning that I'm a dedicated, 20 yr.+ Zen student. A big part of Zen training involves building a bigger emotional container or the capacity to hold and feel a larger and larger amount of emotion. This also contributes to the student's increased ability to compassionately hold space for the trauma and suffering of others. For the dedicated Zen student this is known as living by the Bodhisattva Ideal or the Path of Great Compassion.

In 2004 my father was diagnosed with having Alzheimer's Disease. He and my mother lived in Los Angeles, and I would come down from the Bay Area on a regular basis to visit my dad. Not long before his death I came down again to be with him. As I entered their bedroom, I saw him lying motionless on a hospital cot, unable to determine if he was breathing.

Terrified that my dad had died, I had an overwhelming experience of Great Fear. I imagined in my mind a Great Tidal Wave of Terror about to engulf me. I looked to the door but caught myself thinking I couldn't abandon my dad. Now, however, I had to find a way to stay in the room. As the wave bore down, I instinctively thought, "What does your (Zen) training tell you to do in this moment?" 

Tremendously frightened but without a second thought, I threw myself headlong into the Terror Wave as one would if confronted by a large wave at the beach. And then everything became quiet and still, the wave and the terror completely vanished. I walked over and laid my hand on my dad's warm arm to let him know I was in the room with him. Then I spent every minute of that weekend with him, holding space and caring for my father as he had cared for me. It was a sacred and profound experience in the long history of our relationship.

I had discovered a whole new capacity for holding my fears and feelings and being present for the suffering of another. I became a trauma therapist after that, and compassion became a driving force in my life and in my work. Every once in a while, I think with love and pride about the time I relieved some my father's suffering just before he died. I also feel a deep sense of gratitude for a meditation practice that changed my life.

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